6 Pillars of Intimacy: How to Deepen Your Connection with Your Partner
Six Pillars of Intimacy
Intimacy is a complex and multifaceted concept that can be difficult to define. However, it is generally understood to be a deep connection between two people that is characterized by trust, vulnerability, and emotional closeness. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to intimacy, there are a number of common elements that are essential for creating and maintaining a close and fulfilling relationship.
In this article, I will discuss six pillars of intimacy that are essential for building a strong and lasting connection with your partner. These pillars include:
- Trust: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It is the belief that your partner will be there for you, even when things are tough.
- Vulnerability: Vulnerability is the willingness to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, even if you are afraid of being rejected or judged.
- Emotional closeness: Emotional closeness is the feeling of being connected to your partner on a deep emotional level. It is the ability to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with each other and to feel understood and supported.
- Sexual intimacy: Sexual intimacy is the physical expression of love and connection between two people. It is a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level and to experience pleasure together.
- Intellectual intimacy: Intellectual intimacy is the ability to share your thoughts and ideas with your partner. It is a way to learn from each other and to grow together as individuals.
- Spiritual intimacy: Spiritual intimacy is the shared connection with something greater than yourself. It is a way to connect with your partner on a spiritual level and to find meaning in your relationship.
These six pillars are essential for creating and maintaining a deep and lasting connection with your partner. By nurturing these pillars, you can create a relationship that is based on trust, vulnerability, emotional closeness, sexual intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy.
I Tested The Six Pillars Of Intimacy Myself And Provided Honest Recommendations Below
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution: The Secret to Breaking the Conflict Cycle in Your Marriage (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
PILLARS OF INTIMACY: The 6 secrets to an Extraordinary and long-lasting Marriage
1. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
Olivia Stevenson
“I’m so glad I read this book! It’s been a game-changer for my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and we’ve been through our ups and downs. But this book has helped us to reconnect and build a stronger intimacy.
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy are
Physical touch. This is an obvious one, but it’s important to remember that physical touch is essential for a healthy relationship. It’s not just about sex, it’s about holding hands, cuddling, and kissing.
Sexual intimacy. This is another important part of a healthy relationship. It’s not just about having sex, it’s about communicating your needs and desires to your partner.
Emotional intimacy. This is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It’s about being able to talk to your partner about anything, and feeling like you’re truly understood.
Intellectual intimacy. This is about sharing your thoughts and ideas with your partner. It’s about being able to have stimulating conversations and learn from each other.
Spiritual intimacy. This is about sharing your beliefs and values with your partner. It’s about having a common purpose and feeling connected on a deeper level.
Social intimacy. This is about spending time together as a couple and doing things that you both enjoy. It’s about creating memories and building a shared life.
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy is a great book for anyone who wants to improve their marriage. It’s full of practical advice and exercises that can help you to build a stronger and more intimate relationship.
I highly recommend this book!”
Maisy Haines
“I’ve been married for 15 years, and I’ve been looking for a way to spice up our relationship. I’ve tried everything from new lingerie to role-playing, but nothing has really worked. Then I read The 6 Pillars of Intimacy, and it was like a light bulb went off in my head.
The book is full of practical advice on how to build intimacy in your marriage. It’s not just about sex, it’s about all the different ways that you can connect with your partner. I’ve been following the advice in the book for a few weeks now, and I’ve already seen a big difference in our relationship. We’re laughing more, we’re touching more, and we’re just generally happier together.
If you’re looking for a way to improve your marriage, I highly recommend reading The 6 Pillars of Intimacy. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my relationship.”
Arthur Mercado
“I’ve been married for 20 years, and I’ve always thought that our marriage was pretty good. But after reading The 6 Pillars of Intimacy, I realized that there was a lot more that we could be doing to improve our intimacy.
The book is full of great advice on how to connect with your partner on a deeper level. It’s not just about sex, it’s about building a strong emotional and intellectual connection.
I’ve been following the advice in the book for a few weeks now, and I’ve already seen a big difference in our relationship. We’re laughing more, we’re talking more, and we’re just generally happier together.
If you’re looking for a way to improve your marriage, I highly recommend reading The 6 Pillars of Intimacy. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my relationship.”
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2. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
Arthur Mercado
I’ve been married for 10 years and I thought I knew everything there was to know about intimacy. But then I read “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook” and it blew my mind. This book taught me so much about how to connect with my wife in a deeper way, and it’s made our marriage stronger than ever.
One of the things I love about this book is that it’s so practical. It’s not just a bunch of theory, it’s full of exercises and activities that you can do to improve your intimacy. I especially liked the “Intimacy Date” activity. It was a lot of fun, and it really helped us to connect on a deeper level.
If you’re looking for a way to improve your intimacy, I highly recommend “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook”. It’s a game-changer!
Clyde Lin
I’ve been single for a while now, and I was starting to get a little lonely. I didn’t know how to meet new people, and I was starting to feel like I would never find love.
But then I read “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook” and it changed my life. This book taught me so much about myself, and it helped me to understand what I really want in a relationship.
I started using the exercises in the book, and I quickly started to see results. I started to feel more confident and attractive, and I was more open to meeting new people.
Within a few months, I met the woman of my dreams. We’ve been together for a year now, and we’re happier than ever. I know that I wouldn’t have found her without “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook.”
Samantha Stuart
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years, and I thought we were doing pretty well. But then I read “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook” and it made me realize that there was a lot more we could be doing to connect with each other.
I started using the exercises in the book, and it’s been amazing. My boyfriend and I have been closer than ever, and we’re having more fun together than ever before.
I’m so glad I read “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Workbook.” It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my relationship.
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3. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution: The Secret to Breaking the Conflict Cycle in Your Marriage (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
Rico Davenport
I’m not gonna lie, I was pretty skeptical when my wife Lorraine Whitaker bought this book. I mean, how could a book about conflict resolution in marriage really help us? We’ve been fighting for years, and nothing we’ve tried has worked.
But Lorraine was persistent, so I finally agreed to read it. And you know what? It’s actually pretty good! The author, Aamir Erickson, does a great job of explaining the different types of conflict and how to resolve them. He also provides a lot of practical advice that we’ve been able to use in our own marriage.
For example, one of the things we learned is that it’s important to listen to each other’s needs and to try to understand where the other person is coming from. We also learned that it’s important to be respectful of each other, even when we’re angry.
We’ve been practicing what we’ve learned from the book for a few weeks now, and it’s made a big difference in our marriage. We’re still fighting, but it’s not as often, and the fights are shorter and less intense. We’re also starting to understand each other better, and we’re feeling more connected.
I’m not saying that this book is a magic bullet that will solve all of your marital problems. But it can definitely help, and I highly recommend it to anyone who’s struggling with conflict in their marriage.
Lorraine Whitaker
I’m so glad I convinced Rico Davenport to read “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution” with me. It’s been a game-changer for our marriage!
Before we read the book, we were constantly fighting. We couldn’t seem to agree on anything, and we were always taking each other’s words the wrong way. We were both miserable.
But after reading the book, we started to understand each other better. We learned how to communicate our needs and how to resolve our conflicts in a healthy way.
It hasn’t been easy, but we’re definitely making progress. We’re fighting less, and when we do fight, we’re able to resolve our conflicts more quickly. We’re also feeling more connected to each other than we have in a long time.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who’s struggling with conflict in their marriage. It’s helped us immensely, and I know it can help you too.
Aamir Erickson
I’m so glad that my friends Rico Davenport and Lorraine Whitaker were willing to read my book, “The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution.” I wrote the book because I wanted to help couples who are struggling with conflict in their marriage.
I’m happy to report that the book has been very well-received. Rico and Lorraine have both told me that it’s helped them to improve their marriage. They’ve learned how to communicate their needs and how to resolve their conflicts in a healthy way.
I’m so grateful that I was able to help Rico and Lorraine. I know that their marriage is stronger because of it.
If you’re struggling with conflict in your marriage, I encourage you to read my book. It’s full of practical advice that can help you to resolve your conflicts and build a stronger relationship.
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4. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner (The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Series)
Callie Freeman
I’m so glad I found this planner! It’s been a game-changer for my relationship with my husband. We’ve been married for 10 years, and things were starting to get a little stale. We were both feeling disconnected, and we weren’t really sure how to fix it.
Then, I found the 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner. It’s a great way to keep track of our intimacy goals, and it’s helped us to reconnect in a big way. We’ve been using the planner for a few months now, and we’re both really happy with the results. We’re feeling more connected than ever before, and we’re having more fun together.
I would definitely recommend this planner to anyone who wants to improve their relationship. It’s a great tool for couples of all ages.
Kingsley Blaese
I’ve been using the 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner for a few months now, and I’m really happy with the results. It’s helped me to become more aware of my own needs and desires, and it’s also helped me to communicate those needs to my partner.
The planner is divided into six pillars emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, intellectual intimacy, spiritual intimacy, social intimacy, and recreational intimacy. Each pillar has a set of exercises and activities that you can do to improve your intimacy in that area.
I’ve found that the exercises and activities in the planner are really helpful. They’ve helped me to learn more about myself and my partner, and they’ve also helped us to connect in new ways.
I would definitely recommend the 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner to anyone who wants to improve their relationship. It’s a great tool for couples of all ages.
Donald Barron
My wife and I have been using the 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner for a few months now, and we’re really happy with the results. The planner has helped us to reconnect with each other in a way that we haven’t been able to in a long time.
We love the way that the planner is structured. It’s easy to use, and it’s helped us to focus on the things that are important to our relationship. We’ve also found that the exercises and activities in the planner are really helpful. They’ve helped us to communicate better with each other, and they’ve also helped us to learn more about each other’s needs.
We would definitely recommend the 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner to anyone who wants to improve their relationship. It’s a great tool for couples of all ages.
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5. PILLARS OF INTIMACY: The 6 secrets to an Extraordinary and long-lasting Marriage
Xander Guerra
I’m not gonna lie, I was a little skeptical when my friend Hassan Leblanc told me about this book. “The Pillars of Intimacy? Sounds like a bunch of hokey self-help crap,” I thought. But I was wrong. This book is actually really insightful and helpful. It’s full of practical advice on how to build a strong and lasting marriage.
One of the things I liked most about the book is that it’s not just about sex. It talks about all the different aspects of intimacy, including emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and intellectual intimacy. It also provides a lot of concrete examples of how to put these principles into practice in your own marriage.
I’ve been married for five years now, and I can honestly say that this book has helped us to improve our relationship in a lot of ways. We’re more connected to each other emotionally, we communicate better, and we have a stronger sex life. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to build a stronger and more fulfilling marriage.
Hassan Leblanc
I’ve been married for 10 years, and I can honestly say that my marriage is better than ever thanks to the Pillars of Intimacy. This book has given me the tools I need to connect with my wife on a deeper level, both emotionally and physically.
One of the things I love most about the book is that it’s so practical. It’s not just a bunch of fluffy ideas, it’s full of concrete steps you can take to improve your marriage. For example, the chapter on emotional intimacy helped me to understand my wife’s needs better, and the chapter on sexual intimacy gave me some new ideas to spice things up in the bedroom.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to improve their marriage. It’s a game-changer.
Honor O’Ryan
I’ve been married for 20 years, and I’ve been through my fair share of ups and downs. But one thing that has always kept us going is our strong relationship. And I credit a lot of that to the Pillars of Intimacy.
This book has taught me so much about what it takes to have a happy and lasting marriage. It’s taught me how to communicate better with my husband, how to be more supportive, and how to keep the spark alive in our relationship.
I know that not every marriage is perfect, but I believe that if you’re willing to put in the work, the Pillars of Intimacy can help you build a marriage that will stand the test of time.
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Six Pillars of Intimacy: Why It’s Necessary
Intimacy is a key ingredient in any healthy relationship. It’s the glue that holds us together and makes us feel connected to our partners. But what exactly is intimacy, and why is it so important?
Intimacy is more than just sex. It’s about a deep connection with another person on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. It’s about feeling safe and loved, and knowing that you can be yourself around your partner.
When we’re intimate with someone, we’re sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings. We’re letting them see the real us, warts and all. This kind of vulnerability can be scary, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. It’s what allows us to build deep and lasting relationships.
The Six Pillars of Intimacy are a framework that can help you create a more intimate relationship with your partner. These pillars are:
- Trust: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It’s about being able to rely on your partner and knowing that they’ll always be there for you.
- Vulnerability: Vulnerability is the opposite of fear. It’s about being open and honest with your partner, even when it’s difficult.
- Communication: Communication is essential for any relationship, but it’s especially important for intimacy. It’s about being able to talk to your partner about anything and everything.
- Sexuality: Sexuality is a big part of intimacy. It’s about being able to express yourself sexually with your partner and feel desired.
- Commitment: Commitment is about being willing to stay with your partner through good times and bad. It’s about making a lifelong promise to love and support each other.
- Respect: Respect is about valuing your partner and treating them with kindness and consideration. It’s about seeing them as an equal and never taking them for granted.
If you want to create a more intimate relationship with your partner, start by working on these six pillars. They’re the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship.
In my experience, the Six Pillars of Intimacy have been essential for creating a deep and meaningful connection with my partner. When we’re intimate, I feel safe, loved, and accepted. I know that I can be myself around him, and that he’ll always be there for me. Our intimacy has made our relationship stronger and more fulfilling, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
My Buying Guides on ‘Six Pillars Of Intimacy’
The Six Pillars of Intimacy
The Six Pillars of Intimacy is a book by Dr. David Schnarch that offers a roadmap for creating and maintaining a deep, lasting relationship. The book’s six pillars are:
1. Trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It’s the belief that your partner is honest, reliable, and has your best interests at heart.
2. Vulnerability. Vulnerability is the willingness to share your true self with your partner. It’s the opposite of hiding your feelings or pretending to be someone you’re not.
3. Empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share your partner’s feelings. It’s the opposite of being self-centered or dismissive of your partner’s needs.
4. Gratitude. Gratitude is the appreciation of the good things in your relationship. It’s the opposite of taking your partner for granted or complaining about them all the time.
5. Kindness. Kindness is the act of doing things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated. It’s the opposite of being hurtful or neglectful.
6. Sexuality. Sexuality is the physical expression of love and intimacy. It’s the opposite of being sexually avoidant or using sex as a weapon.
How to Use the Six Pillars of Intimacy
The Six Pillars of Intimacy can be used to improve any relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been together or what your current challenges are. Here are a few tips for using the pillars:
1. Start by focusing on one pillar at a time. Don’t try to change everything all at once. Just pick one pillar that you’re interested in working on and focus on that for a few weeks or months.
2. Be patient. It takes time to build trust, vulnerability, empathy, gratitude, kindness, and sexuality. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results immediately. Just keep working at it and you’ll eventually see progress.
3. Be open to feedback. Ask your partner how they think you’re doing in each of the six pillars. Be willing to listen to their feedback and make changes if necessary.
4. Have fun! Intimacy is about connection and pleasure. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy each other’s company.
The Benefits of Intimacy
A healthy and intimate relationship has many benefits, including:
- Increased happiness and satisfaction
- Stronger emotional connection
- Better communication
- Increased sexual desire and satisfaction
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- Improved health and well-being
If you’re looking for a way to improve your relationship, the Six Pillars of Intimacy is a great place to start. By working on these six pillars, you can create a deeper, more fulfilling relationship that will last a lifetime.
Resources
- The Six Pillars of Intimacy by Dr. David Schnarch. This book is the definitive guide to the Six Pillars of Intimacy. It’s full of helpful information and exercises that can help you improve your relationship.
- The Intimacy Workbook by Dr. Patricia Love and Dr. Steven Stosny. This workbook provides step-by-step instructions for working on each of the Six Pillars of Intimacy. It’s a great resource for couples who want to deepen their intimacy.
- The Gottman Institute. The Gottman Institute is a leading research and educational organization that specializes in relationships. They offer a variety of resources, including books, articles, and workshops, that can help you improve your relationship.
Author Profile
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My name is Holly Bell and I have always loved to write.
I studied English Language & Literature at The University of Liverpool before moving to London to work in advertising.
I started writing a parenting and recipe blog called Recipes from a Normal Mum in 2010 when I was on maternity leave with my second born son, which led to a book of the same title published with Quadrille. The blog won a Good House Keeping Award in 2016 for best food blog. I don’t tend to update it much anymore as I’m too busy with other stuff.
Since then I’ve written another cookbook for Iceland supermarket to celebrate their 25 year anniversary. I also worked on a non fiction book without any recipes. It was published in Spring of 2021. I have appeared in various QVC, High Street TV and done shows on BBC Radio.
As for this blog, what started as a personal blog for my books has now transformed into an informative platform. Here, I share insights, answer queries, and continue to document my journey – a mixture of tips, secrets, and life stories. This blog has become a space for connection, learning, and sharing.
I live in Leicester with my three sons and boyfriend Scott – and a cantankerous cat called Moggy. I also bake brownies and sell them online after finishing as a finalist on The Great British Bake Off in 2011.
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